


Step 1: don't fall in love with Amy Santiago

by jakepurralta



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: College AU, F/M, Gen, Meet the Family, meet the parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4089697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jakepurralta/pseuds/jakepurralta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU.</p><p>Gina organizes a school play and casts Jake and Amy to play the lead roles. This quickly leads to complications.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Step 1: don't fall in love with Amy Santiago

Jake loved to pretend.

He was always a big prankster, and when he pranked someone, he liked to go all the way. He’d spend weeks prior to the big event meticulously planning every single move he’d make and all the other things that would be involved. These things were his choice of clothes, but also potential “witnesses” he might have to take into consideration. He also often tried to predict how his conversation with the “victim” would go.

Considering all that, it didn’t surprise anyone that Jake was one of the first to sign up when the school’s drama teacher, Gina Linetti, announced that they were going to do a big play at the end of the school year.

Gina Linetti wasn’t really a certified teacher. When Ms. Bellman, the school’s _actual_ drama teacher was forced to stay at home due to a burnout and it eventually resulted in a long-term sick leave, Gina was quick to take the opportunity to showcase her skills in “guidance, entertainment and bedazzlement” as she had told Mr. Holt, showing off some of her wicked dance moves in the process. Mr. Holt knew that it would be unwise to cancel the yearly play, since it always attracted a lot of visitors, many of whom weren’t even connected to the school in a way. A lot of these new visitors would end up registering their children at the school.

‘You know you’re going to be my star, boo.’ Gina purred, after Jake inquired about who else signed up to play the role of the play’s main male character. ‘Now all I need is someone to play your female confidante. She’s got to be the opposite of your character’s personality. But most importantly, she’s got to have chemistry with you. Not all aspects of theater can be acted. Some things have to come naturally.’

Jake didn’t seem impressed. ‘Gina, I’ve got chemistry with everyone. There’s literally not a single person in this school who hates my guts. I’m a very lovable person.’

‘You just don’t get it, do you?’ Gina shook her head. ‘I suppose I can’t blame you. But don’t you worry, I’ve got my eye on someone.’

Before Jake could even reply, Gina was already walking off, the soles of her shoes confidently thumping on the ground. He decided it was best to just leave her be.

* * *

‘Amy?’

His mouth was slightly open and he was so surprised, he couldn’t even think of a single thing to say to her. If this was any other situation, he’d know at least eight different ways to tease her. Amy Santiago was a lot of things: bookworm, a bit of a nerd, teacher’s pet, perfectionist, competitive. He just never thought he’d ever see her on stage. Acting.

‘Ah, I’m feeling it already!’ Gina exclaimed in excitement, her hands flailing wildly through the air to remind everyone in the room that Jake and Amy had a thick, intangible tension hanging between them. ‘This is exactly what we need. What _I_ need.’ Gina went on to talk about how she cared little about everyone else, and more about how her school cred would be after the play, but neither Jake nor Amy paid much attention to her.

She felt a bit uneasy with him just staring at her, and he must’ve realized, because he looked away and she cleared her throat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Gina’s voice was already completely tuned out by the both of them, and so Jake finally found the courage to step towards her.

He put a smile on his face. ‘Amy. You were the last person I expected to see here.’

She smiled back. A small, uncertain smile, but it made his heart beat a little faster anyway. ‘I guess I’m playing Jasmine.’

‘I’m Henry.’

‘So I’ve heard.’

Suddenly, he didn’t really know what to do with his hands, so he slid them into his pockets in an attempt to make it seem like he was just casually interacting with her. ‘So… what happened? I thought you weren’t into the whole theater thing?’

Amy grinned sheepishly. ‘Gina personally convinced me to do it. She can talk anyone into doing anything. I can totally see her going into politics one day.’

‘Please don’t give her any ideas.’

The two of them had a quick chuckle about the idea of Gina as a politician until the girl in question noticed their lack of attention and scolded them both for it.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Jake to realize that Amy was a surprisingly good actress. Granted, the fact that the script was already written was a big help to her. Whenever Gina asked for some improv, the scene would dramatically deteriorate and they’d just end up focusing on the script again. When Jake asked if he could improvise a little, Gina gave him a sweet pout of her lips and a “you do you, boo”, but when Amy asked the same, Gina would call for Charles, who would then give Amy a precise list of everything that went wrong in her last attempt.

Amy accepted it eventually, and they’d spend four hours pretty much blowing through the script. Occasionally, Gina would give some pointers on how to improve the scene. Charles would try to refer to it as a “heart feel”, but literally everyone would pull a face and call him weird for it (“A _heart feel_ of the scene, Charles? Really? Come on, man.”)

But Charles was right about one thing, and Gina knew exactly what it was. ‘Passion.’

‘Passion?’ Jake and Amy repeated in unison.

Gina brought her hands together and nodded once. ‘Passion. I’m not completely buying it. Henry,’ she began, indicating at Jake. ‘Jasmine is supposed to be the love of your life. And yet you stand before her with a space that could fit three different women?’

‘Well, it’s just practice, Gina,’ Jake tried, ‘It’ll be different when it’s finished.’

‘Is it? Hm? Or are you just saying that because you’re not getting any credit points for this and you just want to go home? I _will not_ stand for an incomplete play. I _will_ see passion. I _will_ see,’ she turned her head to Amy, who had a look in her eyes that feared the worst. ‘…a kiss.’

‘What?’ Amy uttered, inadvertently taking a step backwards. ‘You didn’t mention anything about a kiss.’

Gina waved it off. ‘It’s the creative process, things change.’

Jake just silently watched her as she continued to move away, now completely aware of her behavior. He was extremely nervous himself, so he found it easier to focus on her instead.

‘No, no. I’m not gonna kiss him. I’m not gonna do it.’ Amy shook her head vehemently, turned on her heel and stormed out.

* * *

_‘Stop it.’_

_‘Stop it.’_

_‘Stop it.’_

_‘Jake, I swear to God, I’m going to actually hurt you.’_

_‘Amy!’ Jake gasped. ‘I am shocked and appalled that a girl like you would condone violence just like that! Shocked and appalled!’_

_‘What?’ She closed her book a little more harshly than she intended and looked him fiercely in the eyes. ‘Just because I’m a quiet girl you think I can’t still hit you?’_

_‘I’m just saying, you continue to surprise me.’ He gave her a smile and the tone of his voice made him almost sound like he found it endearing that she just threatened to hurt him, and she felt the need to look away._

_‘What are you doing here anyway? Can’t you go annoy your friend Charles or something?’ When in doubt, Amy always thought to herself when it came to Jake Peralta, just snarl at him and pray that he would get the hint._

_‘Mr. Jeffords asked us to go find a study partner for the day.’ He tossed a crumbled piece of paper at her. ‘Amy Santiago: I choose you!’_

_The paper bounced off her book and landed on her lap and she let out a sigh. ‘What?’_

_He glared at her in disbelief. ‘Pokémon.’_

_She grabbed the paper and aggressively put it back on the table, though Jake was still having just as much fun pushing her buttons. ‘I know what Pokémon is. I have brothers.’_

_‘Aaaalrighty.’_

_He finally allowed a little bit more silence between them, though not enough to completely stop him from talking. He managed to squeeze more information out of her, about her interests and her family. For some reason he really liked spending time with her and he really wanted to get to know her. There were many other girls in his class that he might hit it off with instead of Amy who was like his polar opposite, but he took great pleasure in watching her laugh at something he said so without even confirming it in his own head, he made it his mission to do that as much as he could._

* * *

After Amy walked out, nobody really felt like practicing anymore. They were all tired, and Gina finally (reluctantly) agreed that they would continue some other time. She did tell Jake that she expected him to talk some sense into Amy, and that she wouldn’t accept anything less than a stellar performance. She wanted that kiss. He just agreed to her terms to please her so he could go, because he was concerned about Amy and he needed to see her.

She was nowhere to be found at school. After asking around for a bit, Jake guessed that she probably went home already. He didn’t actually know where she lived, but after “politely asking” Mr. Jeffords for a long time (Jake would not back down on this one), the man finally gave in and gave Jake her address.

It took him thirty minutes with the bus to get there. Her house was pretty much exactly what he expected it to be. It was a relatively large house (after all, there were ten people living in it) and when he stepped on the porch, he could faintly smell the scent of food from the open kitchen window.

He rang the bell once, and after a minute, the door opened. A 20-something young man wearing shorts, a black tank top and an uninterested look on his face stood in the doorway. ‘Who are you?’

‘Good day to you too,’ Jake greeted, his voice overly happy to mask his nervousness. It was like he could sense the eyes of multiple other brothers peering over this man’s shoulders to see who was standing on their porch. ‘I’m Jake. I’m Amy’s classmate. I was wondering if I could talk to her.’

The man stared him down for a long time, making Jake shift a little uneasy on his feet. Suddenly, his facial expression drastically changed, and the man laughed. ‘Someone’s here to see Amy? Well that’s a first.’ He turned, shouting over his shoulder, ‘Yo papá, someone’s here to see Amy!’

Not long after that, the door leading into the living room opened a bit more and an older man who was clearly Amy’s father shuffled in, a confused look on his face. Jake immediately tried to get the younger man’s attention again by tapping him on the shoulder.

‘Uh, it’s not what you think-‘

‘-it never is.’ The older man interrupted Jake, though he had a friendly expression on his face. ‘So who are you?’

‘I’m Jake. I’m in her class.’

The man held out his hand and the two of them gave each other a handshake. He had a surprisingly firm handshake, Jake thought to himself. ‘I’m Richard.’

The younger man, who was now standing behind Richard, momentarily stepped forward. ‘And I’m Joey. I didn’t mention it before, but I’m Amy’s favorite brother.’

Richard hushed him. ‘So, come on in. My wife’s actually making dinner right now.’

Jake was still extremely aware of the fact that Amy’s other brothers were all sitting in the living room at this moment, and he did not feel mentally strong enough to deal with that just yet. ‘Oh, uh, I can’t stay long. I was just going to give a message to Amy, if I can.’

‘Oh, of course,’ Richard turned to Joey, ‘Go make yourself useful and find your sister, will you?’

Joey obliged and vanished into the loud living room, leaving Richard alone with Jake, who felt extremely self-conscious about himself. He didn’t really think this through on the way over here. He was just so concerned with Amy that he forgot about her ridiculously large family.

‘So… Jake. I think I’ve heard your name a few times before. You’re the, um, what do they call it? Class clown?’

Jake looked down at that and grinned. ‘I already made a name for myself in his household?’

‘Well, if my daughter’s stories are any sort of indication, you’re quite the troublemaker.’ Richard continued, though it was clear that he tried his best to not sound judgmental.

‘To be fair, sir, I am a troublemaker,’ Jake admitted, ‘but I have the best intentions. I like making people laugh.’

Richard smiled. ‘If you can make my daughter laugh and not do anything illegal in the process, I won’t complain.’ There was something that Richard implied with that sentence, but Jake couldn’t really put his finger on it. Or maybe he didn’t want to. Yes, it was definitely the latter. Clearly, Richard was already considering what Jake would be like as a boyfriend to his Amy and it kind of terrified him.

He was relieved when Joey re-emerged from the living room and informed him that Amy was sitting in the backyard. Richard told him that he could go around the back and just let himself in there. Jake quickly nodded, glad to be out of the situation.

* * *

He pushed himself through the wooden fence and indeed, there she was. She was sitting on a small wooden bench looking just as upset as she did an hour ago, and when their eyes met, he could swear she quickly blinked a few tears away.

‘Jake? What are you doing here?’

He held up his hands. ‘Don’t worry, your family knows I’m here. In fact, I met your father and your favorite brother already.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Let me guess: Joey?’

‘That’s the one.’ He was relieved to see her crack a smile, even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Cautiously, he inched closer to her. ‘Can I sit?’

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she just shifted herself ever so slightly to the left, giving him space to sit next to her.

He sat down and they both just stared in front of them in silence until Jake decided it was time to break the ice. ‘Do you want to talk about what happened?’

‘I don’t want to, but I suppose I have to.’

He shook his head. ‘Look, if it’s about the kiss… don’t do it if you don’t want to do it, okay? Gina can guilt trip you as much as you want, but it’s your decision. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later.’

Now it was her turn to shake her head. ‘It’s not that.’ Her voice was delicate and soft, and it was the first time he’s heard her talk like this. He knew even without looking at her that there were tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. ‘It is about the kiss but… not in the way that you think.’

He grimaced, and playfully nudged her shoulder with his. ‘Oh, you say you do want to kiss me?’

‘Shut up.’ She rewarded him with a punch on the shoulder. ‘It’s not that either.’

‘Then what is it?’

She fell silent for what seemed like a long time. ‘I’ve never kissed someone before.’

That was not what he expected to hear. ‘You’ve never kissed someone before? Like, on the lips? Romantic stylez?’

‘Nope. And I guess it just hit me that my first kiss might just be you. I freaked out.’

He huffed a breath. ‘Honestly, I would freak out too. But this clarifies a lot for me, Amy. Look, let me talk to Gina. I’m sure I can work something out with her.’

‘No!’ Amy suddenly turned towards him, her hand on his knee. She realized it just as soon as he felt it, and instantly removed it. ‘When we kiss on stage, it’s not going to be me and you. It’s going to be Henry and Jasmine.’

‘Uh. I don’t get it. You just said-‘

‘I know what I just said,’ she retorted, ‘I mean, it’s going to be Henry and Jasmine, but technically it’s going to be me and you.’

‘Amy, if you’re trying to make a point, please just get to it because right now you’re more confusing than a text message written by Gina.’

She just blushed, and that’s when her point hit him. She wouldn’t mind kissing him on stage, as long as her actual first real kiss occurred before that. Rationally, it was a simple piece of information to process. But other than that, he wasn’t quite sure what she wanted next. Did she want him to kiss her first? Or did she just want any other guy she liked to kiss him? What could this mean?

And all of a sudden, Charles’ voice was inside his head, telling him about all the complications between two lead actors on a stage. Soon after Gina revealed the identity of Jake’s co-star, Charles pulled his friend aside to remind him that it would only lead to trouble if he was going to agree to play the love interest of the girl he liked.

_“I do not like Amy!”_

_“And yet, you keep pulling her pig tails.”_

_“Yeah, because it’s easy and fun.”_

They argued about it for a while, until Jake finally managed to get Charles to stop by convincing him that he wouldn’t fall in love with Amy. He had it all worked out in his head, similar to whenever he worked on a prank.

_Step one: don’t fall in love with Amy Santiago._

That’s all he needed to do.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with a massive headache and a desire to post this today. So no beta, no proofread, just words and a throbbing headache. I'm sorry if it's not as good as my other work, I'll give more dedication to the second part. I guess I just missed writing and I'm as stubborn as Pilot Jake's refusal to wear a tie properly.


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